How many times have I heard the mothers? Normally this is a young child or adolescent. Often, Dad does not exist, perhaps because of the divorce. The mother is left alone with children.
I hope this article will be little 'light on the issue, so that both mothers and children can understand each other better and love and do not annoy each other. I will deal with single mothers and divorced, if my opinion should prove to be instructive for a parent or a parent.
First, I understand that theredifficult to educate a child if you are a single mother. I have sympathy for your situation. I wish your husband were here for you. But he is not. So I have to be to deal with the topic at hand.
There is an old expression: the child is father to the man. And in line with this truism, a boy wants to be someday a man.
A guy wants to start doing things a man can do. He wants to be competent and good at something. He wants to be strong and courageous. He wants to know how to do thingsand sort things out. We want to earn respect. He would one day have a good supplier. He wants to be a man.
It 'hard when dad is not there. It helps if there are models out there: teachers, neighbors, coaches, a good brother, uncle or grandfather.
But no matter how many or how few examples there are around, the odds must be a boy to a man (even if a couple).
Now we need a mother very wise and insightful to be aware of the above and a bit 'longer andgive him a chance to drive.
Many women do not know what a force for them. It 'easy to bully. It 's easy for a mother, being older and more verbally skilled, always right. It 'easy to win every argument with your child. It 's easy to accuse and insult. It also happens that a mother is unconsciously resent his son because he is a man (like the others, has correctly) and recalled that the mere fact that he is a male.
In the experience of violenceor use in the hands of one man, one is tempted to put his son. I am sorry to say this. But it happens and to be mentioned.
Even the best parents have a tendency to get a little 'bossy and authoritarian, at times. When we were kids bullying us around. It 'nice to turn around and help someone else. And yes, big brothers, big sisters, aunts and babysitters can and often masterful in.
The mother comes to orders and commands. As a guide (so longwhat about quality) is suitable for small children who need direction. But when the children are older, often delegated in order. When an older boy or a girl being told what to do, no place where the same direction. But also the direction and development of independence, self-motivation and responsibility are the need of what the older children.
Maybe you can find some sympathy for the fate of the boy. Surrounded by more women, authorities, and about as ordered above, has little chance of being aPeople.
A wise mother (who has self-respect and love) sometimes leave to look after her son. Remember the old style of dance (such as ballroom or square dance)? The man driving. If the mother can sometimes lead her eldest son when it comes to some decisions around the house, it is actually a noble cause and kind.
If a child has the opportunity, the man of the family that would be a big brother and sisters, watch out for them, fixing things, and participation in decision-making-youwill be surprised how many people will be able to cope.
It takes wisdom, mercy and love for the state and left the young to be protective and helpful. But it should not be too obvious. I love old TV shows (like Andy of Mayberry, Leave It to Beaver or Father Knows Best). They show how a parent can be alert without being intrusive. I love the old series The Big Valley, where the main character (played by Barbara Stanwyck) is the matriarch of a powerful CaliforniaFamily ranch. It shows how his strong, but not intrusive, and is informed and friendly. He had self-esteem. Why not an act of arrogance, his children were strong and have self-esteem.
It 'amazing how much wisdom has been written in these old TV shows. For example, they often have a history of watching their parents sometimes secretly, what one of the children, but pretends not to see.
They remain in the shadows, alert and attentive, helpful, or evenTo assume, if necessary, to do, but with the hope of the child what is right for themselves ..
And even if your child makes a mistake (the parents watching to make sure that nothing really bad happens), it is a learning experience. The child could handle himself (even if the parents were still on the hat). Another "win-win: If the child sees for himself that on his head and goes to parents for advice.
There is also a passage in the Bible where it says that Mary foundhis son from afar and kept the things in her heart. Not everything has to be said. Some things are kept in the heart. Also no longer need to be told immediately. The people need some 'space to discover for themselves.
After all, "is one of my favorite helpful hints for parents and especially mothers (since most single-parent families with mothers are given). I heard a family of top experts to America in the transition state this jewel as a side dish. Saputo When I heard, I was immediately on the rightand there are never forgotten.
He said parents and especially parents of teenagers: "Do not be confrontational."
If a parent of a child has done something refuted, there is a tendency on the right in the face.
This is not only painful to watch, and even more painful to be on the receiving side bait, the child is angry or a secret hostility wimp.
Give them some space. Think of the beautiful "Talk to the Animals' songFilm Dr. Doolittle.
Talk with the family pet to take the images speak to the wall, talk to the toy on the shelf. Tell them what's going on. Say it so the child can listen to what you put Teddy to say on the shelf:
Tell the teddy bears, "I do not know what to do I got company coming in half an hour, but John (the son of 12 years in question) says that it must go next door I need someone to help me vacuum the living room ... Jane is on ballet. ITo prepare the food. Oh, what should I do? "
You would be surprised how many times, after a few minutes, John, (who has overheard the conversation with the bear), and appear suddenly going to say. "Mom, I heard you contribute to your dilemma I've given some thought and decided I better call Joey and say to him, I can not come because I help my mother," He saw himself grew up in character and feel good about themselves - all in cause him to see the roomthemselves.
Finally, the boys have employment opportunities for competition and sport. A boy must have done something that you feel competent. If possible, activities should be real: do not look at the pictures of hiking, but hiking, swimming is not just a film about swimming, but really. More important, it needs to keep your options and make decisions. What better place than at home under the wise and gentle learning protection of his parents?
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